What kind of person were you growing up? I was pretty shy, kind of dorky, a teacher’s pet, content to sit in my room alone most of the time, and a “just pull my hair back in a scrunchy” sort of girl. (yes, I said scrunchy…they were cool then! Don’t judge.) Those are the things that I thought then, and I still think about myself now. (Don’t worry, I’ve traded my scrunchies for bobby pins or a hair band.) I thought some pretty crazy things about myself back then also. I thought I was easy going and super patient. I thought I was super understanding and completely trust-worthy. I thought I was a catch! (Go ahead and laugh because I roll my eyes now just thinking how blind I was!)
I’m still pretty blind now, but it’s getting to where I’m only blinded from moments or specific areas which I’m trying to better. I have very little patience! That’s probably why my kids and I go at it so often because we’re all constantly running out of patience and then the craziness takes over. Well, that and because 2 year olds are crafty little boogers! Ever been suckered into an argument with a 2 year old?? I haven’t really done much in my life to earn the badge of “trust-worthiness.” I’ve made some pretty poor decisions in my past that ended up hurting those close to me and costing me their trust and faith in me. Then there’s understanding…..hmmm. That depends on whether or not you….(you fill in the blank). That’s a big one of mine that I’m working on. I can be very understanding when it doesn’t have to affect me at all.
I recently finished a book by a woman named Lysa TerKeurst, entitled Uninvited: Living Loved When You Feel Less Than, Left Out and Lonely. Let me just say, first, that I’m pretty sure that if I ever met her in person, we would instantly become BFFs, because this book was written for me! Her and I totally clicked by page iv! (I think I’m going to send her the “Best” part of a “Best Friends” necklace for Christmas. Is that too much?) Seriously, though, everything she spoke about really hit a note with me and in areas that I’ve struggled with my whole life, whether I realized it at the time or not. One area being, understanding. Understanding that we are ALL flawed and sinners by nature. When men lack understanding it typically turns into them not feeling respected or never good enough. When a woman lacks understanding it turns into her not feeling loved or wanted. Both circumstances lead to trust issues.
“With the fullness of God, we are Free to let humans
be humans-Fickle and Fragile and Forgetful.”
When I get out of my head and hand over my misunderstandings and my misguided judgments to God, I’m able to become more understanding and patient. Sometimes it takes some extra effort and sometimes it’s an easy thing to do. The main thing that I need to remind myself of is the fact that we ARE fickle, forgetful and very, very fragile! In my prayers for help I am often asking Jesus, “How in the WORLD did you do it??? Please, tell me your secret!” That’s about the time that I hear the whispers in my heart saying, “it’s God.” It’s not something that I can do on my own, it’s not a free seminar that I can sign up for on Facebook promising instant results. It’s God and it is AMAZING what He can do when we place our trust in Him and we allow our hearts to be filled with His promises! I still wish some days that I can just claim my badge of being understanding and patient and trust-worthy…but let’s face it. I will continue to fail in those areas and so will those that I put my trust in…except God.
Tags: Failings, God, Growing up, Growth, Identity, Learning, Lies, Lysa TerKeurst, Reminders, Truth, Understanding
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