So about a month ago I was approached with the AWESOME proposal to disciple to a new believer! Being a rather new believer myself and having never discipled to anyone I was pretty nervous and a bit confused as to why in the world I was being asked. Surely there had to be someone more experienced! I mean….you know I don’t have the bible memorized yet, right?!
Needless to say, I prayed on it and I knew this was the next step I wanted to take in my faith. Not to mention the lady I’ll be spending time with seems pretty cool and I’m always open to gaining a new friend!! However, I’m a bit embarrassed and ashamed to say that I haven’t been the best friend to her these past few weeks.
I’ve allowed some personal struggles to get in the way of my reaching out to her. My natural instinct when things get rough is to isolate myself. I hide in the shadows until I just can’t handle it anymore and I end up exploding in an emotional mess. I’m great at throwing pity-party confetti EVERYWHERE!! That’s not to say that my emotions aren’t valid or that I’m just trying to be selfish, but I know that it’s something I need to find a healthier way to deal with troubling times.
I want to be an example of what Christ has done in my life so far, but when I’m sitting in church and I feel so very disconnected from God and any of the Spirit, I don’t want her to see that. So I isolate. Not the best decision perhaps, but, like I said, I’m working on it.
One of the topics we’ll be going over in our discipleship is a lie that most women (and men) tend to believe: “I can’t help the way I am.”
I’m sure you’ve used that line before. Whether it’s something that runs in the family, outside influences that you want to blame for making you a certain way, you were told you were like that from birth…whatever the case may be. I’m learning to not believe that lie. Nor believe it when others tell it to me. God created me perfectly, but He also gave me free-will. He allowed me the chances to make decisions based off of what I knew at the time. He gave me unlimited access to Him through prayer, through Jesus and through his teachings.
I know I need to eat, but I don’t when I’m emotional. I could blame it on the past eating disorder, or I could simply own up to it and eat something regardless of whether or not it makes me happy. I know I need to be more organized, to set a good example to my children, or I could blame it on the “artistic personality” in me and say my organized piles are good enough! I could blame my unhappiness on God’s slowness in deliverance and refuse to smile or sing praises, or I could open my mouth and try my best…even if it means fighting the tears as I tear down the wall I put up around my heart. (I’ve just learned to wear waterproof mascara!)
God created us perfectly and exactly according to his plan. He knew exactly where you were going to end up today and what kind of person you were going to become and the person you have yet discovered. He wants you to use your characteristics to glorify Him, even if it hurts you in the moment and it doesn’t feel natural or comfortable. Just like next time I see my new friend, I need to step outside of myself and remember that she needs a guiding hand more than anything right now. That I too was once in her shoes and felt lost but craving for direction so I could grow in my relationship with Christ.
I CAN help the person that I am…I just need to make the choice that pleases God and own up to my flaws and failings. To trust in His timing, to trust in His design and to know that He is in complete control. I can help who I am, by remembering who He is.
“We are responsible for our own choices. We can be changed by the power of God’s Spirit. Once we know and embrace the Truth, we can break free from the chains of our past, our circumstances, and even deeply ingrained habit patterns.”
Lies Women Believe: and the Truth That Sets Them Free -Nancy Leigh DeMoss
Tags: Choices, Design, Free Will, God, Growth, Holy Spirit, Jesus, Lies, life, Truth
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