Let go and let God. A phrase that is often used among those recovering from addictions. I never fully understood the meaning of that until now. I knew I needed to turn my troubles over to God, that only allowing Him into my life would get me out of myself and would force to me to stop turning to unhealthy things to make my problems “go away.”
I’ve seen people do it with me. I’ve experienced the pain of being “cut loose” because my unhealthy pride only became worse. I no longer had my sources of encouragement and affirmation. However, they reached a point in which they knew they had to turn me over to the care of God because there was nothing they could do for me. During the times leading up to them handing me over, hurtful things were said. Life killing and painful words were exchanged. Words that caused me to harbor anger towards them and to distance myself from those people. Words that I still carry and can remember to this day, but because I now understand why they said the things they did, I can forgive them and not let them hinder the relationship we have rekindled. They were simply hurting and they were afraid and they finally realized that only God could get through to me.
I’m in a season right now in which the tables have been turned. I am trying so desperately to bring something that I have had a hand in ruining, back to life. By doing so I have become confrontational and selfish. I have used my unhealthy pride to try to get a response, just for the sake of getting some kind of reaction. I have used my knowledge of what I know God’s will is for us to support my case and to be judgmental. However, I have reached a point where I know I am only causing more harm than good. I need to let go and let God, and quite frankly, it’s scary!
I know what I’ve tried has not worked. I know that God is capable of doing amazing things (I’m a testimony to that fact). I know that I have had to deal with the consequences of my disobedience to God and for displeasing Him so many times, and it has only made me love Him more. However, the thought of handing people over and not knowing what consequences will come about (if any) breaks my heart and scares me. How will my simply walking with Christ affect this area of my life? If I let go, will those people be lost to me forever? Will they take it the wrong way and think that I’ve given up on them or that I want to cut ties completely?
I have to believe that the answer is no. God will not bless you with the things that are broken. He will bless you with the things that you still have, if you strengthen them and allow them to multiply. No amount of confrontation will heal something that is broken, it will only make it worse. I can only take what I have left and do with it as a follower and believer in Christ would do. I can’t expect to have an easier life than Christ had if I chose to follow Him. Think of how many people that hated him, avoided him and mocked him and yet he was still kind and encouraging. He still wanted them to join him eternally, but he had to finish his walk in order for them to see what blessings they could one day have also, if they started to follow him and the will of God.
So, I want to leave the pieces of my old self that still linger, behind. I’m tired of her continuing to make things worse for me. I will let go of the things that I need to and let God do what He needs to do with them, instead of me trying to do His job for him. I will continue praying and strengthening the things that still remain and I will hold on to Faith, Hope and Love. From those things I will find my Joy and my Strength through God and all that He has done and continues to do in my life, and will do in the lives of others.Tags: Be Still, blessings, faith, hope, Jesus, Joy, Let God, Letting go, life, Love, Pain, Promises, Understanding
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