Some days I am absolutely blown away by the way God moves! When I am open to His presence in my life and when I earnestly seek Him and his guidance, I am able to discern what thoughts are coming from him and what are of myself. I’ll give you the most recent “for instance” as an example.
Yesterday I was presented with a business opportunity that sounded simple enough, but with the potential to be quite time consuming. I have been looking and hoping for a way to start bringing a little revenue in to aid with future projects and current ones, in hopes to be able to reach more people. I had tried a couple “easy” ways to make some chump change, but I felt like it was completely going against my goals and self respect. Not to mention, an easy dollar doesn’t fulfill much. When this offer came up, though, I thought maybe this was an answer to a prayer. So I started to look into it further and found myself truly questioning if this was something I wanted to take on.
The simple fact that I didn’t just jump right into it is huge for me! I can be very spontaneous and quite foolhardy at times, especially when it comes to experiencing something new. I’m beginning to see (take notice of) the effects it has had when I chose to take on something without taking the advice of others to heart and by finding every possible way to justify my desire to “give it a shot.” Well, for once, this time I started to seek the counsel of trusted people, AND to openly listen to their advice and thoughts on the matter. (also a pretty new concept to me)
I even started to pray about it and think of other trusted advisors I could seek out. (Yes pastor, your message got through last Sunday!) In the middle of praying about what I should do, I randomly started to think about a certain time in my life. (God has a crazy way of doing that to me every now and then.) I started to think back to when I had my short relapse after getting sober the first time. In the past I would have sat and just wondered why in the world I started to think about that time in my life, but I have learned in the past few months that I have a lesson to learn from the event that I am recalling at the time. In this instance I believe that God was helping me to see my answer.
When I relapsed I had become complacent in my recovery. I stopped trying to seek a sober lifestyle and I was foolish enough to think that I could try drinking again and that I would be able to control it this time. I quickly fell back into the same ditch that I had just crawled out of just 2 weeks before, all because of my foolish decision to try something because I thought I was ready or that I could handle it. What does that have to do with my current opportunity/choice? I’m glad you asked!
The past year I have been growing in my faith and my relationship with Christ and with God. I have changed in some pretty amazing ways and have gained strength and courage that I never thought I would have. I have started to seek God in each of my trying times and also in my praises and, even though my intentions and thoughts behind joining this company in their endeavors were good and would be used to further spread the goodness of God and the strength that comes from following His will and His way, I had the distinct thought/realization that God could see something up ahead that I couldn’t.
I think He was trying to let me know, through my past experiences, that I may end up trying to force the reigns out of his hands. That I would start to seek other goals and have other things become a priority that would eventually lead me back to not seeking His purpose for my life. It was suggested that I incorporate this new business venture into My Mustard Seed and I simply did not want to do that. I was moved to start this blog for once sole purpose and that was for my testimony and to get His goodness and presence out there to who ever may come across these posts and stay for a minute to read them. Changing his purpose in this here path I have begun would just cloud it.
Now, that’s not to say that I won’t take on another project later down the road. I have many dreams and hopes of things I would like to do, which, God willing, I will be able to accomplish. He will provide the avenues, the funding, the experience opportunities and the dedication time in order to accomplish those things, if it’s what He wants me to do. I don’t need to try to justify my doing something if it’s His purpose. I was trying too hard to justify to myself and convince myself and others that this other thing was something that I may want to do or that I could “handle” it….just like I tried to convince myself and others that I could “handle” so many other things that turned out to be bad decisions. However, those bad decisions were what God needed me to experience so that now, like today, I could finally seek His will and His timing and be able to follow it. In this way I will be able to one day bring glory to His name and to his goodness towards me.
So, now the next part…the next lesson I desperately need to learn…how to tell someone “no.” That’s something I have always been horrible at! It’s a big reason behind my bad decision making and also why I don’t listen to others (because I also don’t like to be told “no!”) Wish me luck! I do want to say that I am so thankful for those of you who do stop by and read! You are a big part in the dreams and goals that I have for the future projects that I hope to accomplish. You give me great courage and hope and I just wanted to thank you!
feature image: getorganizedwizard.com
Tags: chances, Control, dreams, future, God, His will, jobs, Lessons, purpose, Seeking, time
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