And the Lord said, “If ye had faith as a grain of mustard seed, ye might say unto this sycamore tree, Be thou plucked up by the root, and be thou planted in the sea; and it should obey you.” Luke 17:6
What do we do when we doubt the strength of that mustard seed? When we want desperately to use it, but fear holds us back? Fear of the unknown. This is what I have been struggling with for quite some time. I’m talking years.
I have a secret. One that, for the longest time, felt like a death sentence to me. I tried ignoring it, I tried twiddling at it in my own comfortable way, I tried hinting at it a few times. None of that worked and so it continued to ruin me and my relationships.
It was probably about 4 months ago that I felt God poking at this issue and trying to get me to address it. So I slowly started to open myself up to the fact that I needed to heal and I needed His help. It wasn’t until I started to surrender my life to him that I started to notice changes. Gradual changes, but changes none-the-less. Now, I can feel greater changes if I stop and compare how I was just a few short months ago, even a year ago or 4 years ago, to how I feel today. Most of the changes are changes of heart, but my secret stops it there. My changes of heart rarely make it past my lips.
You know how yesterday I talked about the relationships that people have with Christ and how they are all different? Mine, to some people, seems radical. Especially when compared to how I was prior to being saved. I can totally understand that, because I can see it also. However, it is this radical change and my constant drive to be closer to God that has started my healing. That has taken this secret of mine and has put LIFE into it, rather than an execution.
GOD. IS. FAITHFUL my friend!!! His love can and will change you if you seek him, and Christ has given you the most precious gift you will ever receive if you believe in him! I am living proof of it and I have faith that I will continue to grow and heal and have a “normal” life, ALL because of Christ’s sacrifice and because of God’s undying, unconditional and unchanging love for me!
Now, you would think that would be enough to take on the world, right? What if you still fear that letting your secret out to those you love most (next to God) will be the thing that makes them leave? What if, after all that you have put them through, they just aren’t strong enough to love you through this too? I mean, I understand they’re only human…not omnipotent like God.
This is when I looked at the title of my blog, this very one that I started back in July, and I got my answer. All I have to have is faith the size of a tiny little mustard seed and God will move mountains for me. I have to have faith that, no matter what, God has my best interest at heart and He will see me through. To understand that I can not do anything in or of myself because that is not how he created me. He created us to look to him for everything. Our sin is the cause of us not looking to Him for his guidance and for not depending on Him to sustain us through every trial and temptation.
My temptation is to keep my secret hidden from man. Let them do what they’re going to do and think what they are going to think of me. God and I know better. OR, I can open up to my fellow man. “For this is not for the ease of others and for your affliction, but by way of equality- at this present time your abundance being a supply for their need, so that their abundance also may become a supply for your need, that there may be equality.” (2 Corinthians 8:13-14)
I feel that God is using this to grow me and to reach others, however, if I can not be completely honest with God, myself or with others, I am blocking Him from doing what He has planned in my life and in the lives of those I am meant to touch.
So, I will take my mustard seed sized faith, pray…and then pray some more…and I will share my secret (that’s really scary to say to y’all!), and then pray again that God uses this openness and honesty and complete surrender to bring him glory through myself and those that I reach.Tags: Councilor, faith, Faithfulness, God, Growth, Love, spirit, strength, Wisdom
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