Have you ever felt like the world was placing labels on you that you didn’t deserve? You may have even started to believe in those labels because of moments or seasons of weakness and turmoil. Now, I’m not here to say that labels are always wrong or that they make you who you are at the core. For instance. I AM an alcoholic. However, because I recognize the truth in this label and have overcome the power that alcohol had on my life, it is NOT who I am. I just simply don’t and can’t drink alcohol anymore. (Not a bad thing!!)
I have been handed many labels throughout my life. Some of which were incorrect and I allowed myself to believe them. They tore me up and misdirected my thinking and actions when I believed them because I thought there was no overcoming it or I just simply didn’t know I was being greatly mislead. I am, and have always been, bad at close, intimate relationships because of my major insecurities. Horrible, right?! To be in a relationship with someone who wanted to be a part of my life and wanted to make me happy and I couldn’t bring myself to be completely vulnerable and let them love me. I was too terrified of being hurt that I thought I had to push them away to “test” their true intentions.
Having insecurities my whole life have caused so much heartache. Debilitating heartache! Deep down I wanted so desperately to believe those that showed me love and acceptance and to simply show them love and acceptance in return, but my head screamed at me. NO! It’s a trap! It was a lie I learned at an extremely early age when I was forced to grow up way too fast and without the proper guidance.
I am here to tell you though. Something this devastating on your life does NOT have to make you who you are! After 37 years of life and with the help of some pretty awesome people and the grace of God, I have finally learned this lesson. The road to recovery isn’t easy. There are still times that I feel ignored and unwanted. There are still moments of great confusion when someone says one thing but then their actions show the complete opposite. But then I look into the mirror of my past…. I told the man I loved him. I even tried to show him in every way possible. But then my moments and seasons of turmoil showed and spoke my insecurities. So then I think….grace. Give and show them grace, because no one is perfect and everyone struggles with something.
How do you overcome insecurities, then, when you have a less than perfect world working against you at times? Remember the grace that God gives you when you are less than perfect (which is every minute of every day). Remember that, despite your imperfectness, God still sees you as beautiful, full of possibility and He will always, ALWAYS, long to have a deep and intimate relationship with you!
Yes, God created us to join with another. For man and woman to come together in marriage. To bind ourselves to them and to build a strong foundation with God at the center. However, when those insecurities get in the way they rip at that binding. That’s why it hurts so much when our relationships are in turmoil, no matter how great or small. Now, imagine the pain that God feels when we start to rip ourselves away from Him. The one who created us in his image and are a part of. Imagine the pain He feels when we look at ourselves and others in the ugly and undesirable ways we do.
A parent feels great pain when they learn their child is cutting themselves or starving themselves to death because they feel ugly or unwanted. A parent feels pain each time their child says “I hate you” or they threaten to run away. When their child starts to believe the name calling and bullying from others. When they turn away from what’s right and seek unhealthy pleasures.
If an earthly parent feels this way for their child, if a spouse feels such pain when there’s conflict, how much greater is the pain that our Father in Heaven feels?
God created me, he created you, to be diamonds. Rough and rugged at first. Some may come by and pick you up then toss you aside, not knowing that they are throwing away a diamond. When you allow God’s love for you into your soul, though, he starts to cut away the rough edges until you shine forth in the radiance He intended you to have. The many facets of your soul will catch the beams of God’s love and workmanship in you so that the beauty He sees in you will be evident to the world.
There will still be those that question your true value. Is he/she a real diamond or only glass? Is this diamond perfect enough? We will never completely escape criticism or labels. Again, perfect does not exist in this life! You will never find it, so stop looking and stop trying to achieve it. When you trust in God to help you heal and to make your beauty known, not only to others but also to yourself, you won’t care so much about the labels. Your worth is found in God and in how He has made you.
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