So, I touched on yesterday what it is to reach rock bottom. When you know that you have truly come to the end of the line. You didn’t get off one of the hundreds of stops along the way that presented themselves…nope, you rode this train until it dropped off the cliff.
That’s not to say that every hard situation that comes your way in life will reach a rock bottom. I pray that if you have never experienced it, that you never will! It’s not an easy place to be. But the most important thing to keep in mind if you ever do find yourself there, is this…..God is that rock and you must hand your life over to him if you want to go on. There’s a reason that He brought you this low!
Jesus never reached a rock bottom per-say…but he understood how it felt to be so incredibly heartbroken that it reaches a whole new level. To feel like a piece of your very soul has been ripped from you. In Mark 14 he’s waiting in the garden of Gethsemane with his apostles, knowing full well what is about to happen, and he asks them stay up with him through the night and to pray. So Jesus goes off to pray as his friends fall asleep. They couldn’t even spend one last night up with him….they didn’t know what was about to happen.
Jesus’ pain is so incredibly evident as he calls out to God and says, Hey! I know you’re all powerful and that if you choose to, you could stop this from happening! (“Abba, Father, all things are possible unto thee; take away this cup from me”) He felt the pain y’all! He was God in the flesh, yes, and he was capable of doing great things and he was PERFECT….but a part of him still felt the pain that we ourselves feel when our very soul feels like it’s being stripped.
We were made in the likeness of God. That may or may not mean that God has 5 fingers on each hand and stubby toes on each foot. I don’t know. It may mean that he has a heart that beats like ours. But I do know that he made us (Adam and Eve) to experience perfection…to have his fingerprint, that vision of perfection ingrained on our soul. When we don’t find that perfection that we KNOW exists, we feel a heartbreak that goes deeper than human emotion. It’s that knowing, but not knowing where it is or how to find it but our soul yearns for it!
Jesus felt the pain that we feel. He knew the sorrow that he was taking on. He was taking on all of our imperfections, our sins, our pain, the muck that goes deeper than just hurt feelings. But Jesus also knew something else that we all need to cling to. He knew that perfection is not found in this world. It’s not found in our hobbies, our job, our kids, our spouse, our friends, our home….none of it. Perfection is only found in God and that is where our comfort and our strength and direction lies.
And he went forward a little, and fell on the ground, and prayed that, if it were possible, the hour might pass from him. And he said, “Abba, Father, all things are possible unto thee; take away this cup from me: nevertheless not what I will, but what thou wilt.” Mark 14:35-36
Nevertheless, not what I will, but what thou wilt. I surrender my life into your hands God. Do with me as you will. Direct me, guide me, speak and I will follow. Releasing your clutch on your life and handing it over to God is the only way that you will be able to receive His blessings and to have the strength to move forward and the courage to do what you know is right. Until then your hands are too full. You have them completely filled with your issues, your spouses issues, your children’s issues, problems at work, the guy that honked his horn at you, the cashier that took forever…everything. How do you expect to hold on to God’s blessings with your hands so full of stuff that you have NO CONTROL over? Let it go.
You have control over one person and one person only. Yourself. So set your eyes on the one who is perfect and wants you to experience the good that he has to offer. He wants you to go through tough times too so that it will teach you along the way to the good. He wants you to learn the right choices to make, to listen to what he says and do what glorifies Him. Not what pleases you for a short time. He wants you to be surprised. He won’t go the route you think he’s taking you on because then you won’t experience Him in it…you’ll think it was your idea. He’ll require you to do things that don’t feel good at the time but he promises that you will blessed by doing what glorifies Him.
It’s not easy to surrender control. I tried it many times over the past few years but I kept picking the stuff up again. So, God tripped me up again so that I dropped everything and was forced to make a decision. Turn away from him, or surrender myself and my life. I’ll be honest…I was close to turning away. Like, hand on the door, keys chucked on the table and one foot already out, close. But then something pulled me back. I don’t know what it was, I don’t remember how it happened. But I remember falling to my knees and sitting in silence until finally I said…”You can have it God. It’s yours.”
And that was it.
I waited. I waited for something to happen and nothing happened. I went about my days and still nothing. Issues and thoughts tried to come at me and I just swept them aside with “I can’t do anything with that…it’s yours God.” I kept my side of the road clean. I prayed for guidance and for help but I didn’t pray for any specific outcome. It’s his to do what he wants to with it. All I can do is be who he created and find joy in the person that he created. To love myself and love the fact that I don’t need to fear anything. I don’t need to plan ahead (unless it’s stuff that requires planning like meals and doctor appointments…which seem to be in abundance lately!).
Each day that I get to wake up is a blessing because it’s full of uncertainty. But I don’t have to fear that uncertainty…I just have to do my best with whatever comes as it comes. And if something comes along that I can’t change, I hand it over to God. If something happens and I feel myself being upset by it, I say “This sucks. I don’t want to feel this way/think these things. You do something with it God, because it’s messing up my groove.”
So now, as I’m keeping my side nice and tidy and loving the person that I am, I’m also gearing up. Because as we all know, the battle is still out there and bigger issues will eventually come our way again. So I’m preparing and strapping on my armor. And girl, you gotta get your armor of God on!
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